Self-confidence is like a muscle: 3 ways to be brave today
I'm not sure how I got here....
I seem to be running my own business. To be honest I’m not completely sure how it happened. I got to a bit of a career crossroads and none of the jobs I was looking at seemed to meet my needs. I ended up deciding that for my next step the best thing to for me was to create a job of my own.
It’s kind of terrifying. But if there’s one thing that’s got me where I am today, it’s the ability to be brave. To take a step into the unknown and believe in myself to find the way through whatever challenges come up. Below I've shared are some of the things I’ve learnt by being brave and some simple ideas for you to give it a go.
Know your limits
When I was 29, I moved from the UK to Sydney, Australia. I knew one person in the country and had only visited once before. To be honest, even writing about it now gives me a rush of adrenaline! But I also knew I wasn’t the type of person that could just up sticks and wander off to a new country (and I assume you aren’t either if you are reading this). I knew I could do it because I’d been offered a job which came with accommodation for the first 3 weeks – which meant the only adjustment I needed to make was the change to being in a new country (and to look for a house once I got there). I was being brave – but within some limits I knew I could cope with.
It’s unlikely to be exactly what you thought
With everything that seems scary or exciting it can be easy to only see part of the picture. The reality of the new job, new city, or whatever is very rarely everything you thought it would be. There’s almost always some rubbish parts of an exciting adventure and some easy parts of something terrifying. And some of the bits you thought might be great and up being only OK. When I moved to Sydney I managed to time it 3 weeks before the global markets crashed and the company I went to work for didn’t really live up to their promises. I stuck it out for a bit and then found down a new job at a company I loved. So at the time – it probably didn’t really work out how I expected. But it was still a great adventure and ended up being a great experience when I found the job I loved.
Make sure you have support
There will be times you feel like you don’t know exactly what you are doing – or want to back out. These are the times to make sure you check in with your support network. Friends, family, colleagues or coaches are all great to be a sounding board for what you are doing and to keep you on track when you have a bit of a wobble.
Self-confidence forms like a muscle
Doing something brave requires a bit of self-confidence. But the good news is that self-confidence is something that you can build. It’s like a muscle – the more you use it, the more you have it. So even taking a small brave step can build your confidence muscle. I think I’m one of those people who thinks they are stronger than they are sometime. My self-confidence is with my eyes closed and fingers crossed – a bit of bravado and some blind faith. But I can’t really think of a time it’s done me wrong.
3 Ways to be brave today
I'm not here advocating for everyone to set up their own business or move to a new country. But I do think everyone can do things to be brave.
Here are three simple way you can be brave today:
1. Ask for Help:
Are you someone who tries to hide when you are struggling? Maybe you don't want to ask for help because you think it exposes vulnerabilities or makes you "less" somehow.
Well hiding your struggles won’t make them disappear. Instead, embrace vulnerability. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Seek guidance, collaborate, and learn together. It doesn't need to be "I don't know how to do this", instead try "I haven't done this before".
2. Put yourself forward:
Are you reluctant to put yourself forward for something unless you are 100% certain you can do it?
Well the chances are you can learn the things you don't know yet. Taking risks can help you discover new possibilities, learn new skills, and grow your confidence. So, go ahead and apply for that promotion, pitch that idea, or volunteer for that project. You never know what you might achieve.
3. Just say no:
Do you find yourself endlessly being the person who feels responsible for taking on the tasks that others don't want to do? Or "helping out" with something, even though your own plate is full?
It's ok to say no. Saying no isn’t selfish; it’s self-care. Prioritize your well-being. Delegate, set boundaries, and protect your plate. And you don't need to justify it. Just say "I'm sorry, I can't".
Don't be fooled - most people don't find it easy to do these things, but the more you practice, the easier it becomes.